*Happy Ratification Day

My mother is a teacher. Most of you already know this because I still write letters to Santa, can tell you about Johnny Appleseed, and know when Flag Day is. So the other day we were having an intelligent discussion about education and budget cuts and all that goes along with it. Then she mentioned to me that the district needs to cut expenses and they are considering taking away some of the teachers' paid holidays. She was appalled at the thought of this. Really Mom? What exactly is it you do to observe Presidents Day? Spend a dollar? Chop down a cherry tree? Abolish slavery - again? She responded to my questioning by telling me how important it is to teach the children about our past presidents. It is important, but I bet it would be much easier to teach if the children were actually in school, don't you think? Granted, it does give the outlet mall a good excuse for a sidewalk sale.

Then there is October 12th, Columbus Day. AKA We've Been In School A Month and These Kids Are Driving Us Crazy So We Need A Day Off Day. Why does this guy have his own national holiday? Because he took a wrong turn? Once I turned onto a street under the Burnside Bridge where a few guys were sleeping under cardboard boxes. Had they been sleeping in teepees, you might be getting a mattress and box spring for $99 at the Kimberly Villanueva Day sale. Instead, we give all the credit to Mr. C. And where would we be without Chris? Ummm...right here. We'd just have better tans and more leather in our wardrobe. And I could put a three-inch heel on a moccasin if I had to. Although I do believe he saved us from a life of **mukluks and beadwork . For that, he might deserve a holiday.

My Mom didn't agree with my view of her sacred paid holidays so I suggested a compromise. Maybe we could have a History Day where we celebrate all the people and things from before 1900. Then, we could focus on relevant holidays like Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Christmas. And we'll reserve some hope for the future so when someone does something really great, we can give them a national holiday. For example, when a heroic soul finally creates a clothing brand that only sells coats with hoods they can have their own national holiday. Perhaps it can replace Columbus Day so when we are shopping the sidewalk sales in October we will be both warm and dry. For that, Mom, you should have the day off.


*Today happens to be Ratification Day, the day the Treaty of Paris was ratified, ending the revolutionary war.

**you would only know what a mukluk is if your mother is a teacher. It was probably in the lesson your third grade teacher had planned for Columbus Day. Too bad you had the day off.